Facing A Fear

This coming weekend I’m taking a CHL class. Before taking the class I needed to go to the range and practice the targets.

I should have completed the class a while ago but fear stood in the way because someone tried to take my life with the very thing I’m going to get a license for-a gun.

A friend was supposed to go with me to the range but for reasons unknown to me he didn’t show. After sitting in the parking lot for fifty-five minutes I had to leave for another appointment I couldn’t miss so I headed out.

Now comes the dilemma-when can I get back to the range to practice before the class this weekend. After my appointment was over I googled Eagles and found they were open until 9 pm. I prayed and enlisted God’s guidance and made my way back there again. I had been there before but never alone so I was nervous. I was met with friendly faces who were eager to help me get registered and a nice gentleman who attended to my needs on the inside.

The biggest thing that unnerved me was the sound of the guns firing. I’d jump every time I heard someone shoot but I stood against the fear I felt until it left. Every time I pulled the trigger I closed my eyes and I couldn’t tell if I hit the target or not. After becoming aware of what I was doing I had to make myself keep my eyes open. By that time I’d fired fifty rounds and it was time to go. While practicing I only jammed the gun twice. The nice man got me out of those jams.

All year things from my past have been popping up for me to deal with. So now was the time for my fear about my life almost being taken from me to be absolved. Today no more fear concerning that lives here. That journey was mine alone and no one else could help me.

I will attend the class, pass the test and get my license.

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DEAR FRIEND

I’ve been waiting many years for manifestations of many promises that haven’t happened. I’m not getting any younger either. I’ve been frustrated many times especially when it seems everyone around me is having their desires and promises met. Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited for those who make it to their promise land. I’m just sad and perplexed that mine aren’t manifesting. Some of my desires or promises are multilevel where all levels have to be fulfilled to have completion.

How do we go through the door before us where the fulfilled promise or desire is just on the other side. The door is glass and we can see it but we can’t get to it. At this point I don’t have a clue.

I just heard “having done all to stand, stand.” I don’t know if that resonates with anyone else but I do believe  it’s for me. I’m going to stand on God’s promises to me but will keep moving forward in as much of my purpose and destiny as I have revelation. I will execute every step of the journey as it is revealed to me. I will rejoice as I praise Him before I see the manifestation of the promises in my life.

Hannah didn’t stop petitioning God for a baby until she received what was deep within her heart. She trusted God for the baby and then trusted Him with the baby. Because of her sacrifice it opened the door wider and she received more children than she probably ever thought she would have.

Many times I wish God would say either yes but in my time or no it’s not happening. Then I remember His ways are not my ways and His thoughts are not my thoughts. So I have to go with that.

Maybe the enemy of our soul is whispering in our ear that it’s taking too long and we are getting too old so we better take matters into our own hands and make things happen. If we are foolish enough to fall in that trap we are done because he’s accomplished his mission of getting us out of time. Then we will really be in a mess.

I believe God is going to return to me everything the canker worm has stolen from me and also fulfill the promises He’s made to me. He’s indeed not a man that He should lie.

So I’m sticking with Him.

I hope you find peace and do also

Missions and a Moment

I awakened this morning with many thoughts flooding my mind of missions to accomplish today. My first mission was to shampoo and condition my hair. Done. I can check that task off my missions list.

My next mission was to make a cup of Espresso to sip while waiting for the time to rinse the conditioner out. Some days the Espresso is delicious but some days it’s horrid. Today it was—you guessed it—horrid. The Espresso and I parted company.

I was beckoned to spend time on my patio. The bright shining sun met me as I stepped out the door and hugged me like a long-lost friend delivering me a present of Vitamin D. The pleasant breeze gently swirled joyfully around me.

Flowers gently brushed with kisses. Trees flow to the tune of an unheard melody. I can see the dance but can’t hear the song. It must not be for me.

Birds chirped and soared on the wind. Beautiful butterflies gently sip the sweet nectar of the flower garden. Dead leaves disconnected from the stately tree as they float haphazardly to their final resting place. Planes cross the skies—some starting and some ending their journey.

Empty bird feeders swayed to the rhythm of the breeze. Why are you hanging empty? Is there not a cause you hang for? You’re waiting, I know for your next assignment of course—to be filled and give out once more.

Moving onward to accomplish my next mission.

 

 

Dream Big Day 7

These seven days of dreaming big about my new home has opened my eyes to how daunting the task could be. I believe it will be a lot of excitement and fun. The best part will be moving in and living the dream. I get to use all my dishes and everything that have been packed away for a while. I get to entertain because I’ll have plenty of room to invite friends over.

Since I want a custom home there will be a lot of involvement on my part. This will be a labor of love. I believe I’ll be able to walk through every room of my home and be satisfied knowing each one will be utilized to its fullest capacity. No wasted space. No unused rooms collecting dust. No adding rooms hoping relatives will show up and at the end of the day they never visit.

I need to get started creating a vision board of everything I want. That will help me keep my dream before me with everything I think I might want and encourage me.

A peaceful place that draws and comfort folk from the cares and heavy burdens of this world is what I’m aiming for.

That’s the kind of home I’m going to have.

Dream Big Day 6

Once this beautiful home is complete every room inside has to be to shine like the construction outside.

I alone can only do my precious home a disservice. With that said an interior designer is what I need to assist me throughout the whole project—not just putting on the finishing touches.

There are many decisions to be made from the beginning before ground is broken to the final furnishing put in place. I look through many magazines for ideas and thinking about making a vision board to keep everything together.

First and foremost I’ve got to have the perfect place for my Baby Grand Piano. Then we can work the rest of the room around its placement. In that placement I must have a place for a fish tank-a beautiful colorful home for fish that replicates the depths of the seas.

I don’t want cookie cutter furnishings. I have antique furnishings from my grandmother and some I purchased that have to be utilized. I found dining chairs I want to purchase but the jury’s still out about a new table. I have my grandmother’s table but not sure if I want to use it. If I do use it will have to change the finish to another color other than brown or black. I haven’t found a table I like enough to purchase so I still have time to decide.

The rest of my home will evolve. I won’t be in a hurry to get every room completed at once. Listening to what it’s saying is important.

Decisions, decisions, decisions.